Families are Forever - But it still hurts sometimes

Usually I talk about my own motherhood experiences and what I've learned while messing everything up. Today I'm going to talk about someone else's journey.

This is my friend Krystal. We met in middle school. She was a good friend and we had lots of fun together. As time went by we moved in and out of touch with each other. We got married six months apart. Then we each started our families, finished at college, moved into new homes, and grew apart. Every few years we'd speak briefly over email, but it was the miracle of Facebook that helped us finally reconnect. Seriously how did we live before the internet?

Krystal has a beautiful family.

Sometimes I think, I want to be just like that person when I grow up. Well Krystal is such a super amazing awesome lady I don't even dream about growing up to be like her, because well you can't reach that kind of super hero status on your own. That stuff you see on Pinterest about birthday parties and amazing baking recipes and home made crafty stuff, she makes it. And it looks like it is supposed to when it is finished. She also  keeps her house clean, plans tons of activities for holidays, and loving mothers many children. Krystal was an only child, and though I thought it was the coolest thing ever, she always wanted a big family. She is now the mother of eight kids. Seven of whom you see pictured above and one angel Christian.

Just after his third birthday, Christian was diagnosed with neuroblastoma. It is a rare form of childhood cancer. Christian was diagnosed with stage 4 and given only a 5% chance of survival. His family did everything they could to save him and were blessed that even though he suffered immensely, he was able to spend his last months at home with this family.  

It is a loss that their family still feels. A loss that I can not begin to comprehend. A loss that they are frequently told to get over or that they are not experiencing or dealing with appropriately. It is heartbreaking to hear the family speak of the hole in their family, while in the same breath telling of their faith in God. On June 12 this year he would have turned 13.

Each year to honor her son and hopefully save other parents the pain they have felt, Krystal and her family host a lemon aid stand (in conjunction with Alex's Lemonade Stand). This years event was held last Saturday. As usual I'm a few days late, but you can still donate to their cause by visiting this site or texting LEMONADE E93013 to 85944 for a $10 donation.

I know that families are forever and have felt the presence of loved ones no longer here. I know that Heavenly Father loves me, my kids, my friends, and every other person here on earth. I know that trials shall give us experience and be for our good. But knowing that doesn't make their pain go away. Even though Krystal speaks of being with her child again someday, there are days she wants to hold him in her arms and is overwhelmed with longing for what might have been.

My heart breaks for those who have lost a child, a spouse, a parent, a dear friend. I can sometimes give hugs and a listening ear but know nothing I can do takes away the pain or the longing to be together again or the regret that their outcome had not been different. I do hug my own kids, spouse, parents, and friends and tell them how much I love them and feel selfish and incredibly lucky that they are still here to touch.

As I write this piece my thoughts are drawn to the blessings of the atonement. And many scriptures that give me comfort when I'm in pain.

Isaiah 53:4-5

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.  But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.  

and Joshua 1:9

 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

I have been healed through Christ's atonement. I have had a companion is my sorrow. Because of this I can not fear because I know that whithersoever I goest the Lord my God is with me. And as my friends and others I don't even know walk through their Valley of Shadow I know the Lord is with them and they too have a Heavenly companion in their sorrow. I know there is power in the atonement.  

And remember if you are blessed enough to do so today - hold your kids, tell them you love them, kiss your spouse, and enjoy this wonderful thing we call life.