Sometimes I yell at my kids. . . and other strange stories

 

 

This past weekend I attended the Time Out for Women Event in SLC. I learned a lot and felt the spirit and wrote an article that appeared on Deseret New online. You can see it here: http://tinyurl.com/8lea67b  WAHOO!!!!!!

 

At the event Sara Wells and Kate Jones (of Our Best Bites fame) talked a little bit about the face you see on the Internet, and I think this applies to anywhere else too. Despite the fact that I write this blog about my motherhood adventures, I'm still a very private person. I have a few very dear friends that might get the real story and see my tears or heartache. But for the most part I put on my Sunday Smile and try to show the world that my life is full of sunshine and rainbows. With that said I think I may have been painting a little too rosy of a picture of my life. So in today's Mom Advice Monday I have a few confessions to make.

 

1.  Sometimes I yell at my kids. I yell at them more when I'm tired, or hormonal, or hungry.

 

2. Sometimes the only reason I shower is because I know my kids will be home from school in an hour and worry that they'll judge me if I'm still in my pj's.

 

3.  I'm not the best housekeeper. This is the one task I tend to let slide so that I can fit everything else in. I'm very busy and get a lot done, but I don't do it all.

 

4.  Sometimes my family eats Hot & Ready Pizza, or McDonald's, or whatever Dad can fix for dinner because I just can't drag my bum off the couch.

 

5. In one of my more frustrated moments when the children wouldn't go to bed I told them their mother was leaving until the morning. And they better not go searching for her, because all they would find is Liz and she isn't very nice.

 

That's just a few of my less than perfect moments. When my children were all little, I went to sleep almost nightly feeling like I had failed as their mother that day. It is for that reason that I continue to write this blog. I read so many "mom" help things during that time and most made me feel that I should do more, say more, or be more than I was. I couldn't and felt even worse. So please know I still screw up a lot. My children are not perfect and that's okay because their mom isn't perfect either. I believe that if we all do our best, and forgive each other for those moments we are less than. . . . everything will work out alright in the end.

Bra's, and Birthdays, and BooBee's . . . . Oh my!

I've never been one to dread, fear, or cry over my kids getting bigger. This week was a perfect example of why.

1. Bra's - A few weeks ago I picked up the two girls from dance. This is usually Dad's job, but he was working late so I got the privilege this one time. Due to the circumstances of the day, after picking up the girls I took all the kids out to dinner. As I sat at the table across my from almost 9 yr old in her dance attire I couldn't help but notice that it was definitely time to be thinking about a bra. Yes, she is still little, and she only needs to wear one while in her tight fitting dance attire. But I wasn't that much older than her when I started wearing one, and I completely skipped those cute training ones and went straight to serious sizes. So this part of her journey wasn't all that shocking to me. I just did what had to be done and scheduled a "girl's day" with our T.

Before the big day I'd schemed a little with my sister in law about how we'd let the almost 9 yr old pick the cutest one and get the matching panties and how she'd love being oh so very girly with us. That isn't exactly what happened. We dropped the other kids at Grandma's to play and headed off to the store. We wondered to the bigger girls section in the back, and I made a beeline to what we needed. I wasn't dreading what was going to happen but I certainly was okay with getting it over with and onto the other fun things of girl's day. The big almost 9 year was about as excited about her new adventure as I was. So she hid in the headbands and we had to drag her over to pick and choose. This was my favorite comment. Me: Look at this cute Hello Kitty one. Kid: Ew gross mom, who wants Hello Kitty there?

In the end she picked out an aqua blue sports bra that will work perfectly to keep her modest at dance. Then she reacted totally age appropriately when T & I shopped a little for the bigger girls with a little boredom and tired feet. At the end of the activity we took her to USwirl. When we got home that night she asked when she could go on another girl's day. I asked if she liked the shopping. She said, "Nope, but the ice cream was awesome." At least she learned one important lesson, girl's days are always all about the food.

2. Birthday's - The birthday season that I've talked so much about is finally upon us. The oldest child is now 11. A few months ago his friend turned 11, and got the World's Coolest Gift for an 11 yr old and my kid wanted it. But it was a little more expensive than what we usually spend. So when I saw an ad for $20 off the World's Coolest Gift I snatched it up, even though it was 6 months before the kid's birthday. Then we spent those 6 months talking about how the World's Coolest Gift was kind of expensive and we weren't sure that we could afford it. Friday night we were celebrating the birthday with the in laws. He'd received a Lego set and an accessory for the World's Coolest Gift. While the family discussed all the ways use the accessory other than with the World's Coolest Gift, I snuck out to the car to get the present we'd hidden for so long. When he opened it, he jumped up and down (imagine the old school Toyota jump), hugged everyone in room, and couldn't stop saying "Thank you." Yep I got the World's Coolest Gift, total mom win.

3. BooBee's - As you would imagine with all the excitement of event #1 we'd be talking a little bit about privacy and why you need to wear a bra with our girls. So now that you have that background. While the oldest one was playing with the World's Coolest Gift. T was reading a book to the twins. It was a bad Disney joke book from the 70's. One of the jokes went like this. What is a BooBee? Kid #3 looked at T. Then she looked at me. T repeated What is a boobee? Then kid #3 sheepishly looked at her chest and pointed to the appropriate area. We all laughed. The real punchline was a bee who scares flowers. I think ours was much better.

Oh my. See growing up is fun to do. Fun to do, to do, to do!

There is only one mom

My personality fits pretty firmly into the Type A controlling type. Most of the time (when my brain is functioning properly) I'm organized and everything runs on schedule. I pre-plan and post plan and have lots of back ups just in case something goes wrong. My kids are old enough that they understand how this system works. So far with all this planning and organization I've still be unable to solve one problem - there is only one mom.

You'd think that with all my organiztion I'd be able to find plenty of time to give each child one on one attention. But children are not neccessarily patient. So yesterday I was doing a puzzle with one and sitting next to another. And I've got a third hanging on my shoulder and petting my face like I'm the family pet. I usaully try to patient, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I completely broke down and yelled, "THERE IS ONLY ONE MOM. You must wait your turn." And of course made someone cry. It was a great moment as we were listening to talks from our church leaders about being more Christlike. It also wasn't the only time I broke down that day or the only time tears were shed.

I know that life is all about learning and not about being perfect, but this is so hard to remember, when you know what you do as a parent will affect your children. I want my kids to feel loved and safe at home. I want them to know about things that are important to me. I want them to learn to be Christlike and giving and respectful. I worry that the bad things I do and say will be the ones that stick and the good ones will be forgotten.

Being a parent is hard and I've got these four people to teach how to be productive and happy adults and only one mom. That isn't to say my husband, grandparents, aunts/uncles, teachers, neighbors, and friends have no influence on my kids. I dont know what I'd do without all of these people and the daily help I receive from them. However, sometimes only a mom can fix it. Sometimes a kiss or words of understanding from mom is just what you need. So I try my best to remain calm and go to work. That's how, at the end of the day, I ended up with one in my lap, one on my feet, and another one laying on Dad just so she could lean over the void between the couches and put her head on me. There may only be one mom, but I need to remember there is always enough love to go around.

Be back next week

 

 

 

 

 

 

I spent last week finishing up some articles for a soon to be launched website with tons of family advice. My creative juices have been extinguished. As I can't repost exact copies, and I can't tell you more until my stuff is published, Mom Advice Mondays is taking a break this week. I'll be back next week with tons of exciting posts and news.

 

For today enjoy this small piece of advice -

 

You may never truly know how much of what you try to teach your kids sinks in, but when you are home in bed not feeling well and someone brings home a donut from their activity and quietly places it by your bedside, then leaves so you can continue to sleep. You can know your kid truly loves you. And that makes everything worth it!